ࡱ> ` sbjbjss .j%H.H.H.8.|.lP2t/t/"///q0q0q0DPFPFPFPFPFPFP$Qh_T^jPa6q0q0a6a6jP//P999a6T//DP9a6DP99KM/h/ ;i=H.7LDPP0PLT8T(MTMq0 2&9334Bq0q0q0jPjPm9jq0q0q0Pa6a6a6a6(-- Indian Interrupted By Ane Berrett, Psychology faculty at Northwest Indian College Abstract: The development of a self is an on-going and lifetime process. This case study examines the story of a Native American man, cut off from his land, culture and his people of origin. It explores the negotiation of his native identity through the lens of Eriksons developmental stages and the impacts of Indian identity interrupted. It explores the bio-psycho-social impacts of trauma as they relate to the fracture of identity and strategies for healing. . I Never Knew My Father I never knew my father. He died suddenly when I was two years old leaving my mother to care for 5 children. My mother came in and out of my life, like a ghost, driven by the spirits of alcohol and leaving us in the care of my eldest sister and in the homes of people I did not know. My remembrance and connection to mother was the smell of wild roses associated with walking together at the beach while digging clams. Soon a new man entered our life, an impersonation of a husband and father who beat my mother. Tribal school was my safest place. There was warmth, food and consistency. I remember May Day approaching and we were getting ready to wrap the May Pole. I was full of happy anticipation. Life, however, can change in a millisecond. That night while sleeping in our little shack by the river, the smell of smoke and loud shouting brought me back to consciousness. I was rescued with my siblings by neighbors, but the room where my mother slept was in flames before my eyes on the darkest of nights. Now, my mother was forever gone. What was next? I thought, while clinging to my only shirt and pants as I stood in the cold and dark. More shadow-like images played across my mind in the days to follow. I was jolted to reality when my eldest sister rescued us from homelessness on the reservation. My nose pressed at the back car window leaving the smells, sounds, friends and memories of parents, all that defined me behind. It was like watching a photograph fade. I was now trapped in another abusive and violent home with no escape. My sister was barely 18 when she married a white man to escape her misery at home. The escape had a snare however: he was a veteran who suffered from war related trauma and was an alcoholic. From this point on, my concept of man took on the image of this white man whose moods roller coasted between mania and rage. His idea of providing for a family was to drink the welfare money which we brought him for being our new caretaker. Soon, young nieces and nephews, who looked white, joined this group. The family was growing, there were many mouths to feed. Being the oldest male in this new family constellation, I was often the scapegoat. My sister was worn out, tired and unsupported. She and her husband displaced their anger and frustration on me. My memories were mixed, my native identity confused. My mother/sister was a nature woman: She had cultural plant medicine knowledge and a strong connection to her spirituality through hiking throughout the mountains and streams. As children, we spent our time outdoors, building camps, watching stars, looking at rocks, swinging through trees, packing sandwiches and having an outing at a minutes notice. She was named by a native spiritual elder as the mother of many as she raised her remaining siblings, her own children, and many foster children. We made many moves, often in the middle of the night, it seemed when rent was due. My favorite place was a little home in the middle of the woods, with many fruit trees to eat from any time I felt hungry. It was a time I recall as my heaven. A neighbor woman, who lived next to our place, became a surrogate mother. She would pay me to drive her cows home and do other chores around her yard. I was there every day and had all her attention. I had value and mattered to her. When we left this place, a part of my identity died. One move took us for a brief time to the city. There were no woods or fruit trees, but the school became my place of refuge and inspiration. My mind was hungry, alive with imagination. I dared to dream of a life purpose through education. These dreams faded with another disruption when my sisters husband uprooted us again to a back woods red-neck community. Fight or Flight My junior high school years in this back woods town were spent largely fighting and trying to defend myself against bullies who didnt like my brown skin. What shame did I wear by being brown? The school did not provide refuge or safety anymore. It seemed the ground was always moving. I found music and dancing or it found me. The rhythm, the beat gave me ground, gave me something hard to name, but a sense I had an I and it loved to dance. Anytime I could go to a dance, I felt free, I felt me. Girls liked me, but I was only interested in dancing. They would say, I was always joking around, and wouldnt get serious. But I had learned at home that serious conversations could be dangerous; they could erupt into a fight. Mohammed Ali was my hero. I watched how he negotiated with danger; he danced. I learned by dancing and joking around that I could be safe. Keep moving when the ground moves. I dont know when I stopped talking, but I internalized all my feelings. I couldnt even name them. Now I can name them as fear, sadness, abandonment, shame and helplessness and hopelessness. I had two responses for these feelings: fight with fists and hostile words, or shut down and shut everyone out At home the violence became worse. I would run to the woods for escape. Soon, I could no longer cry. One night, while chopping wood, I was hit over the back of my head with a large club. At that moment, I snapped. I could have been killed. At fourteen years of age, I ran away from home. I joined the hobo trails and rode the rails as far away as I could go. Eventually I was picked up and jailed for safe keeping until the authorities could figure out where I belonged. But I wouldnt talk. It was a stand-off between a fourteen year old boy and the authorities. Silence was my only power tool. After nine days of this last stand the police brought in a tall striking Sioux Native man to talk with me. He called me little brother and convinced me to talk. My soul stirred. Was it possible he reflected an image I could identify with? I missed my family, but refused to go home. I was placed in a foster home for a few months, and eventually returned home with my older brother. The same violent treatment compelled me to leave home again at 16, living with other families. High School completion was interrupted. I worked with my elder brother, logging and then enlisted in the Air Force during the Vietnam conflict. I met many white people who called me chief and asked questions I could not answer. What tribe are you from? Do you have an Indian name? Who are your people? Can you speak your language? I could only answer in the negative and ask myself, How come? Not knowing stirred a deep hollow wound in my soul. Who am I and where do I belong? As a flight line jet mechanic, I provided turnaround refuel and inspection services for quick stop and service Medi Vac planes returning from South Vietnam. We debriefed flight crews for all air craft services to support their final destinations. In these aircrafts were returning GIs who were physically devastated by their wounds received in battlefields. The young men would grasp my uniform and ask, Are we home yet? I would say, Yes, your home, youre safe. But nothing could heal or replace their loss of limbs, ears and faces and the psychological traumas. Large cargo planes were loaded with hundreds of caskets secured to pallets on their floors. This was my first experience of the reality of war. The general public never saw the 58,000 death fatalities resulting from the policies of war. I would visit my closest friend who lay in the army general hospital with his wounds. He was surrounded with young men our age high on morphine, some moaning, crying and asking, Would you kill me? I want to die. What could I say to them? I learned to drink in the military and began a path of self-destructive and wild and crazy behaviors. My relationships with women began during this time but were short-lived and reactive. Anger was my identity. I was a red apple with white on the inside. White hot raging anger! Coming Home I continued my alcoholic career for the next 15 years and left a path of heartbreak, repeated abandonment, failure, shame and homelessness in its wake. My biological parents had converted to Catholicism and my first wife was Catholic. When I hit the last house on my block, drunk and angry, I knocked on the door of the Catholic Church, and left as soon as I walked in. Shame was only stirred in this house. I walked down the street, through the doors of an Episcopal Church and gained audience with a caring priest who became my support throughout my recovery. I discovered a spiritual identity free of the hook of shame here. The priest became the spiritual father I had longed for. He didnt reflect my native identity but brought me a sense of a good me identity. I ecame selfish (in that I came first) with my recovery and attended AA meetings consistently. This AA home and structure further reinforced this good me I was drunk and toxic when I went to a US Veterans Treatment Program. Of all the negative trauma of military service I experienced during the Vietnam Era, the saving grace was that the military sobered me up. I didnt want to quit drinking. I was reduced to almost total self-destruction and I knew I could not leave treatment. The result of this was the death of self abuse. Although I didnt know it then, I was taking back my own agency. The destruction of self-will was arrested. I choose to place my self-will onto a foundation of hope, faith and belief in a higher consciousness. Something was still missing however. I longed to return to my home of origin. I longed to fill a hole in my life. I longed to find purpose. It has been over 20 years since I returned to my land, my people. I have my ancestral name, and I understand and speak my language. I know my history and know my people are the survivors of the great flood. I know where my mother and father rest and the names of my ancestors. I have become re-acquainted with friends I left as a young boy and met elders who remember my parents. I cling to their words for healing and support of my parents identity and my existence. I have found grounding in the land and the foods and the smells here. I have found a purpose which is to be of service to my people. I have served my people, but it has been hard. Many are in the same process I am along a path of healing from the interruption of genocide, colonialism and assimilation. Some have not wanted to accept me. Natives who have lived on the reservation all their lives seem to resent those who come home. They dont seem to trust that they are really from this place. I have experienced hostility from the very people I had hoped to receive me. Yes, bigotry and racism exist among our own. There is a historical class system which is still in place; high class and low class families. There exists an unspoken contempt if you are an urban Indian, an orphan who did not receive the traditional teachings, a half breed or are not married to a Native American. Children of these unions also face this stigma. It seems as a people, we have resorted to using shame and humiliation in our interactions with one another. After receiving this on the outside, we face the same treatment at home. We are not pre-Columbian Indians. We are all struggling with the same fractures of identity which seem to trigger negative aspects in one another; we mirror shame. AA taught me, dont go where you are not loved. I am learning how to manage situations which trigger post traumatic stress and the resultant rage. I stay away from people and situations that feel unstable. I am hyper vigilant about who I trust. Institutions and people who operate on a shame or fear-based foundation are toxic in recovery. In the past I would obsess on people and situations that had caused me harm. I am learning this obsession only causes me harm, and I am finding ways to release these toxic feelings and behaviors. I attempt to make amends for my wrong doing and identify the purpose of the AA serenity prayer. Work and intimate relationships are the most challenging for me as they test my reliability and trust issues. My body can become flooded with liquid fire rage. When triggered to this boiling point, I can throw things. I am learning strategies to release this response. My guilt, shame and trauma are triggered by memories of those who have abused me physically and emotionally in the past. These feelings are often displaced on those closest to me. I often use ineffective strategies that backfire in defending myself. I am learning that I am not willing to sacrifice and lose what I have gained in recovery. My other response is to shut down and drop out. I could shut down for days, months and even years avoiding opportunities and dropping relationships I need most. I miss important appointments and deadlines which I still try to understand are fear-based. These periods are shortening as I am learning to go through my fears. Each time I successfully go through what I perceive of as a fear situation, it reinforces my ego strength. I am integrating much emotional and mental material as I create new pathways of thinking. It takes much time and patience from those closest to me. I mourn lost years in beginning my education and a building a stable home and family with my children. I am still trying to catch up. There are souls to seek amends and forgiveness with. I have re-occurring dreams of going up and down the highway, being in many places, confused as to where I belong, and where I am from. I hoped this dream would end when I came home. There is still work to do to heal the fracture of identity through place and purpose. I still engage in shutdown behaviors and angry outbursts. It is an on-going process. I have sought healing and support through many avenues. AA has provided the strongest structure to support my addiction recovery. I found that becoming sober is just the first step. It has uncovered much unresolved trauma and pain from the events of the past which need to be re-integrated and resolved. I have tried and tested that whatever happens to cause me pain; I have firm resolve to not drink. I am building defensive amour that deflects shame based messages directed at me. AA helped me to learn that Whatever other people think or do is none of my business. I avoid victim mentality or native people who think that way. My identity is not a wounded, abandoned young boy. I made the decision that I would no longer think of myself as a bystander, or perpetrator or a victim. I have come to see that our history can be seen in a larger context, that genocide, colonialism and assimilation has been repeated between all peoples throughout the history of the world. My job is to strategically heal and move through this experience gaining greater experience and wisdom as a strong responsible native man. As a young boy, I looked to my aunts and uncles for structure and identity. But as they died while I was younger, I felt that void. After sobriety, I realized that my four children and my younger nieces and nephews and grandnephews and grandnieces lack identity. They are part Indian and who do they look to? I realized I am that identity for them whether I am ready or not. I am their Elder. As a Native language teacher, I have also identified myself with my young students at public high school and they have identified themselves in me. I do have a responsibility to step out of myself and become a stepping stone for their future and identity. Along my path, I have felt spiritual help and been supported by just the right person at the right time. I have a strong knowledge gained through these painful events that there exists a universal higher consciousness that loves us all. I know help will arrive in the form that is needed for me and my family. I have learned I have an inner strength, a piece of identity and determination that moves me forward one day at a time. Teaching Notes Indian Interrupted By Ane Berrett, Psychology Faculty at Northwest Indian College Additional Background Information Developmental psychologists have theorized the formation of identity occurs in stages or cycles throughout a lifespan. Erik Erikson, a leader in developmental theory, identified 8 developmental stages occurring over the life span. The first stages from birth to age 12, Trust versus Mistrust, Shame versus Autonomy, and Initiative versus Guilt and Competence versus Inferiority have a dialectical task to resolve to create the foundation of an adult identity. See appendix entitled, Eight Ages of Man Eriksons research included field work with the Oglala Sioux of Pine Ridge, South Dakota and the Yurok tribe of Northern California. In these contexts he noted emotional problems resulting from disconnection from past tribal history and difficulty adapting to white mans culture. He theorized that the development of identity occurs through socialization within community. Trust, Autonomy, Initiative and Competence are ego strengths which develop through reciprocal relationships between an individual to immediate family, extended family and community members. Within the belief systems of indigenous societies, this reciprocal relationship also includes geographical place, and the longitudinal and geometrically expanding society of ancestors and progenitors Learning Objectives: 1) Create a personal working definition of Native Identity Define the stages of development as described by Erik Erikson and apply these stages to this mans story Describe the socio-cultural events from a macro to micro view that interrupted development of his Native Identity Identify the mal-adaptive and adaptive behaviors he exhibits in his story Explain the bio-psycho-social impacts of trauma from developmental interruption and apply to his story. Create a personal plan to support your Native identity healing and recovery. Create a strategic plan that could be adapted for tribal government and schools to aid Native Americans as they reconnect to their native identity and place of origin. Present to local leaders and policy makers of these institutions. Key words: identity, developmental stages, life span development, looking glass theory, attachment theory, trauma, violence, assimilation, colonialization, macro, meso, micro societies Intended Audience: This course is designed to be taught within college level courses. Suitable for Sociology, Psychology and Human Service courses and is helpful for students to have a basic understanding of Erik Eriksons stages of development. It would adapt well to a seminar imbedded in a Human Services course of study or training and orientation workshops for instructors and mental health care workers serving Native American students. Implementation This case provides students the opportunity to synthesize multiple aspects of identity from a psychological, developmental, biological and socio-cultural view points in relationship to a story related by a Native American man. This is designed to be taught as an interrupted case. Part 1: Identity To set the stages for this work ask students to list attributes of their identity. Then pair-share students into dyads where they introduce each other to their partner based on their definition of self Assign each pair to create a poster answering the following three questions: What is identity? How does an identity develop? What is Native Identity? Part 2: Developmental Theory and Socialization Assign students to read the first segment of this story, I Never Knew My Father. Provide students with background information and readings on Erik Eriksons developmental stages focusing on the first three stages. Divide students into three groups each representing one of the first three developmental stages: mistrust versus trust, shame versus autonomy and guilt versus initiative. How do mistrust, shame and guilt apply to identity interrupted? Assign students to discuss and analyze the positive and negative socialization (colonialization, assimilation) impacting his emerging identity during his childhood years. Apply Cooleys Looking Glass Theory as it applies to these developmental phases and define the quality of the reciprocal relationships in these contexts. Present findings to class. (See appendix for description of this theory) Part 3: Biology and Trauma Assign students to read the second segment of this story, Fight or Flight. Class discussion questions: Does he experience trauma related to identity? Identify the physical, social/emotional, spiritual and mental symptoms he exhibits relating to trauma? Research question: Assign students to research the biological impacts and resultant symptoms of trauma and present findings to class. A concise and easy to understand resource for research is contained in the book listed in Additional resources entitled: Who Switched off My Brain? By Caroline Leaf Part 4: Healing and Recovery a) Read the last segment of this story, Coming Home. b) Discussion questions: How did this man heal? Identify his resilience factors? How did he establish new orientations to his social world? (Divide into pair-share or three groups and assign each group one of the three questions. Create a poster and share findings with larger group.) c) Concluding assignment: Write personal story. Apply developmental theory to personal story as it applies to understanding Native Identity. Examine family, tribal and ancestor creation stories as they apply to the development of native identity. Explore personal adaptive and maladaptive behaviors resulting from identity interrupted. Service learning assignment: (optional) Discussion question: How can native communities support native people to re-orient identity based on Eriksons theories? Students will collaborate in individual groups or as a class to interview tribal members, students and then create a strategic plan to present to tribal schools and local governments which aid and support Native Identity. Resources and References Anderson, Kim and Bonita Lawrence, editors. Strong Women Stories Native Vision and Cultural Survival. Sumach Press, 2003 (This contains more stories to apply Eriksons developmental model) Childre, Doc and Howard Martin, The Heartmath Solution, Harper Collins, 1999 Cooley, Charles Horton, Human Nature and the Social Order, New York: Scribners, 1902, pp 179-185 Erikson, Erik, Childhood and Society, (Chapter 7), W. W. Norton & Company, 1963 Erikson, Erik, Identity Youth and Crisis, (Chapter 3) W. W. Norton & Company, 1968 Elkind, David, Erik Eriksons Eight Ages of Man, The New York Times Magazine. (1970, April 5) Gilligan James, MD, Violence. Grossett/Putnam Books, New York, 1996 Herman, J. L. Trauma and recovery, Basic Books, New York, 1992 Iverson, Lisa B. Ancestral Blueprints-Revealing Invisible Truths in Americas Soul, Family Constellations West Publishing, 2009 Leaf, Caroline, PhD, Who Switched Off My Brain? Leaf, 2007 Levine, Peter A., Waking the Tiger Healing Trauma, North Atlantic Books, 1997 Naparstek, Belleruth. Invisible Heroes, Survivors of Trauma and How They Heal. Bantam Dell, New York, 2004 Terr, Lenore. Unchained memories: True stories of traumatic memories, lost and found. Basic Books, New York, 1940 Van Der Polk, Traumatic stress: the effects of overwhelming experience on mind, body, and societ, Guilford Press 1996 Neuropsychology of PTSD: biological, cognitive, and clinical perspectives, edited by Jennifer J Vasterling, PhD and Chris R. Brown, PhD, Guilford Press 2005 APPENDIX Erik Erickson Erik Erikson was a psychoanalyst and professor of developmental psychology at Harvard. His major contributions center on the negotiation of identity across the entire life span which occur in a relational social community. His 15 years of research have been summarized in many books, including Childhood and Society. His theories can be summed in the following statements: Personality development continues throughout the entire life span. It is an ongoing process. Personality development occurs in eight definable stages in which an individual has to establish new orientations to self and the social world. Each stage of development has both a positive and negative scale to resolve along this continuum. Much of his research was conducted with Native Americans and Soldiers returning from war. With Native American tribes he noted problems which he could not apply classic psychoanalytical theory. These emotional problems seemed to be linked to the interruption occurring between present life situations in contrast to past tribal culture and history. They were caught in a no-mans land without foundation. Unable to identify with the white mans culture compounded this disconnection. He observed identity was interrupted from past history, communities of culture and land base. He also worked in a veterans center where he observed soldiers with what was then called shell shock. He noted a similar syndrome as he had observed with his experience with Native Americans. Both seemed have lost a sense of self, purpose and direction. They also experienced identity confusion or what I have named identity interrupted These social groups informed his theories of the importance of culture and society in the development of identity. These eight stages of development are listed and explained further on a separate table in this appendix. For a further explanation, see the brief summary of his theory, Erik Eriksons Eight Ages of Man by David Elkind on the Resources list The Looking Glass Self: Charles H. Cooley This is a theory developed by Charles Cooley and George Mead, sociologists and offers another insight in how individuals develop a self, congruent with the relational aspects of Erik Erikson. He compares the social interaction process between individuals where each person reflects an image of the other. There are three principal elements of this theory: We imagine how we appear to others Others judge our appearance and respond to us We react to the feedback. From these reciprocal interactions, we experience feelings of shame or pride on our self interpretation. In addition, during this process, we attempt to manipulate other peoples views of us to serve our interests and needs. 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